What Did Scientists Discover?
A new study from the University of Michigan found that helping close friends can make older adults feel happier. But there’s an interesting twist: it works differently for men and women.
What Kind of Help Are We Talking About?
Older adults help their friends in three main ways:
- Emotional support (most common) – Listening to problems, giving comfort
- Advice – Sharing wisdom and suggestions
- Practical help – Picking up medicine, cooking meals, helping with chores
The Surprising Results
For Everyone: Doing practical tasks for friends—like running errands or helping around the house—is linked to feeling happier. These activities help older adults feel useful and needed.
The Gender Difference:
- Older men are less likely than women to give emotional support to friends
- When older men DO offer emotional support, they often feel LESS happy that day
- Older women don’t have this problem—they feel fine when giving emotional support
Why Do Men Feel Differently?
“Offering emotional support to friends may be linked to a lower positive mood for older men, possibly due to expressing empathy or discussing emotions,” said researcher Crystal Ng.
In other words, talking about feelings might make older men uncomfortable because:
- Men’s friendships are usually based on doing activities together, not talking about emotions
- Society expects men to be tough and not emotional
- Having deep emotional conversations might feel strange or stressful for them
Women’s friendships, on the other hand, are usually built on talking and sharing feelings, so emotional support feels natural.
Who Did They Study?
Researchers talked to 180 older adults in Austin, Texas (average age 74). For almost a week, these adults reported what they did to help friends and how they felt—every three hours!
Why Friends Matter
“Since friends are chosen and usually bring joy, they can be especially important for emotional well-being in older age,” Ng explained.
This is extra important for older adults who:
- Are not married
- Lost a spouse
- Are divorced
- Don’t have children
Breaking Stereotypes
Many people think older adults only RECEIVE help because they’re weak or sick. This study shows that’s wrong!
“Many older adults are still providing support,” Ng said. Helping friends is an active choice that keeps older people engaged with life.
What This Means
For older men: Programs that encourage hands-on help (like fixing things, running errands, or helping with tasks) might be better for their happiness than programs focused on emotional talks.
For everyone: Helping friends in practical ways can make older adults feel they still have a purpose and are useful.
The Bottom Line
Helping close friends can boost happiness in older adults, but the TYPE of help matters—especially for men. Practical, hands-on help seems to make everyone feel good, while emotional support works better for women than men.
The key lesson? Let older adults help their friends in ways that feel comfortable and natural to them!
